Are you looking for signs a married man is using you? I mean, there are signs that a married man is taking advantage of you, and today we will look into 67 obvious signs together!
67 Obvious Signs A Married Man Is Using You
Sign #1: He doesn’t talk much about his real life.
Whenever you ask him to talk about his life, he always tries to change the subject or not answer.
he may think that you don’t deserve to know this because you aren’t married and he isn’t in love with you.
This could be a good sign that he only wants to keep you like a side piece for the time being.
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So that you don’t get into his personal life and tell his family about your relationship with him.
Finally, if he doesn’t give many details about his life, it means that he wants to protect himself, his family, and his wife. But he doesn’t want to protect you.
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Sign #2: He doesn’t tell his wife about you.
You can tell a married man isn’t really in love with you by how he treats you, even if he’s been separated but is still married. Is he being honest with you when he doesn’t tell his wife about you?
You could be a “replacement” for him even though they are still married.
The end of the day, he’s still married.
Before you came along, he had made promises to another woman, so he was ready for you. Besides, he may be in love with his wife and only use you for sex.
Emotional attraction and a deep emotional connection are two things that make it hard for a man who is in love to break up with you.
Sign #3: He pays for your silence.
Perhaps he gives you gifts every time you get angry and talk about the affair with other people.
Perhaps he’s giving or giving you money.
If you’re so in love with him that you’re willing to tell his wife about the affair, maybe he’ll give you money to keep you quiet.
That money has changed hands in this way also shows how much you’re willing to put up with in a relationship.
If you’re willing to pay him to keep quiet, there’s a good chance that you’re also using him.
Then why should he be given to you again if he’s only being used?
It’s because when a man pays for your silence in any way, it’s a deal. This isn’t love at all.
Transactions show that he doesn’t see, hear, or feel you as a person. Instead, he sees you as a possible choice.
He sees you as a way to get away from the responsibilities of his life and try something new.
Sign #4: He tells lies about his life.
He lies about his job, where he lives, how much time he spends with his wife, or how attached he is to his wife.
He has to lie in order to get away with the things he’s doing, so he has to. Isn’t it hard for him to get what he wants if he doesn’t lie? That would make it more difficult to keep you around for sex (without anyone finding out).
Sign #5: The Wife Always Takes First.
Most people think a mistress should come after the wife, or that a mistress should not be in the picture at all.
However, mistresses don’t usually think that way. So, if he doesn’t have to meet your needs and wants, there’s a good chance that he’s just taking advantage of you.
The cost of having a woman around isn’t always too high for men.
Sign #6: Abortion
Getting another woman pregnant is common for married men who are married. They often try to make her get an abortion.
This is because he doesn’t want to be responsible for the child in the future, and he also doesn’t want to be responsible for his own actions. This is why:
Is there any better way for you to know that a man doesn’t love you, doesn’t care about you, and has put you in the “one of many” basket right away?
There are times when it’s good to think about whether it’s even worth looking for signs that your partner is taking advantage of you.
Sign #7: When you don’t offer sex, he doesn’t want to be with you.
There are many signs that a married man is taking advantage of you if you don’t give him sex. If you don’t give him sex, he shuts off, threatens to leave, criticizes you, or leaves for good when you don’t.
This is what happened to a woman in our Facebook group:
If a man is in love with a woman, he will stay even if sex isn’t on the table.
If a man is in love with a woman, he will stay with her even if sex isn’t on the table. Most of the time, it takes a lot of time and a man to fall in love with you to get to this point.
As long as you think this is crazy, that’s a good sign that you think of relationships as a business.
Sign #8: It’s possible he has other women, too.
If a married man has one mistress, it’s very likely that he also has a lot more (or is on the lookout for others).
It’s possible for him to be unfaithful to his wife, even though he isn’t in love with you. Men have a lot of sperm to spread around.
Unless he is in love with you. That isn’t the same thing as when a married man falls in love with his mistress, though.
There are very few chances that he will be seeing other mistresses at the same time as the woman he is falling in love with.
Sign #9: He always looks at or checks out other women.
In a way, this sign links to the last sign a little bit…
Having a married man’s eye always on someone else is the best way to tell that he’s not taking care of his wife.
It shows that he’s looking for a little gold in a sea of women, but it’s not really that. He doesn’t care who he has sex with on the side, as long as she’s willing.
Sign #10: He has rules about when and where you can talk to him and meet him.
The chances are good that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore if he doesn’t let you call or see him in a certain place (like a hotel room or your house) (other than the surface fun you guys currently have).
Sign #11: He doesn’t ask about your life.
A married man who doesn’t want to be in a long-term relationship with you is likely to ask very few questions about your life. If he does ask questions, it won’t be because he cares.
Because he wants to be more in charge of you and what you do, or because he just wants to know more about you.
In general, men who care want to get to know you very well and will ask about your life, your interests, and the people you care about.
To them, it’s important that you have a good life and that they can help you or solve your problems.
Because they will remember the things you tell them about yourself and your own life in the best ways.
For example, they might offer to take you somewhere that fits your hobbies and interests, or they might buy you something that helps you both in your personal life and in your hobbies or interests.
Sign #12: He doesn’t show empathy or understanding.
If you try to tell him how you feel, but he doesn’t seem interested or can’t feel what you feel, then he’s not in this for you.
He doesn’t care about you. Instead, he cares about what he can get from you, not you.
It’s one of the clear signs that a married man is taking advantage of you.
A lot of people use him. This doesn’t mean that he’s a bad person, though!
It could be that you don’t make him want to love you. You’ll have a hard time:
Make any man fall in love with you and commit to you emotionally, no matter who he is.
Sign #13: He always asks for help.
A married man may be taking advantage of you if he always asks for your time, professional advice, or help with his kids or things around the house, even though he is married.
Whenever he asks you to help him with a project or drive his kids somewhere, be careful and think about why he needs your help.
He may already have a lot of help, so it’s important to think about why he asked this of you.
Is it possible that he needs your help? Or is he just using you as a way to see you or spend time with you without having to do anything himself?
Sign #14: He always wants to know what you’re up to.
People who are married are starting to ask where you are going and what you’ve been doing, and this is making you feel bad.
No, not very often.
Do you want people to follow you on Facebook?
Does he call to check in often?
Giving his thoughts on how you spend your time?
It could be that he is trying to show that he cares about your life very much. Even though you should be careful about how much personal information you share with a person. People don’t need to know what you do every day or where you go.
A lot of things could be going on in his head. He could be taking advantage of you to get information that will help him in the future or he is having an unhealthy crush on you.
In this case, you should keep your business to yourself. if he doesn’t treat you with respect, then it’s not worth being his friend.
It’s sign #15:If you’re in a relationship, he asks about it or tells you about his problems with his marriage.
If a married man is taking advantage of you, the first thing he will do is try to get information from you about your relationship.
To be on the safe side, be cautious if he asks about your relationship and how you feel about your partner. He might want to be close to you without putting his relationship at risk.
It’s hard to tell if you’re being loved or being pushed around.
Remember that this man already has a relationship and a set of very clear rules in place. In this case, you’re on the outside. He doesn’t matter how close he makes you feel.
Sign 16#: He makes you feel bad about yourself.
You may start to feel like your life is lacking or not good enough for him if a married man takes advantage of you.
Your partner or friends might not be good enough for him.
Because his wife doesn’t understand him, this could get worse. He might say he wants to be this person and that he is willing to leave his wife because she doesn’t understand him.
The man may even try to make you believe that he can give you more than your partner can. But it’s important to know that this man has the same amount of free time as everyone else and probably has more time and energy than he needs to spend with his family.
Pay no attention to words. Most of the time, though, when they are full of erratic emotions.
Sign #17: It’s like he always wants to hang out with you and not anyone else.
He may always want to go out with you when the married man is free.
Is it good if he always hangs out with you and not with his friends or family?
He might be lonely or not getting enough attention. Think about how much time you have and how he might be trying to get a lot of it for himself to feel better and more wanted.
Sign #18:It’s like he thinks you’re the only thing that’s right in his life.
The only good thing in a married man’s life might be you. It’s common for people to feel like they don’t have a voice or aren’t being heard in their marriages. Then, they start to look for recognition outside of their relationship to show how important they are.
This man may be hard to leave behind if you start to think that you are the only one who truly understands him. Then, you might start to think that you don’t deserve anything better than what he has to give.
It can be hard to say no to someone who loves us with all of their energy and attention.
Careful. The way this person acts could be called emotional manipulation. At some point, he probably looked to his close family, friends, and wife in this way. If he is looking outside his marriage for a sense of validation, tread with caution.
Give him some time to figure out his own life before you get too involved in his.
Sign #19: He may try to convince you that he is going to leave his wife or partner.
He may try to make you believe that he is going to leave his wife or partner for you.
His expressions might change from platonic and friendly to romantic and slightly obsessive. Sometimes this forbidden love can feel extremely appealing.
This can be very dangerous as it can start to make you feel uneasy. Most of the time, he is expressing something that he will never follow through with.
He most likely wants you to feel this way and believe it so that you will continue to give him what he wants and needs. Which means there is no limit to how much attention and desire you can get.
Sign #20: You think he is the only person who can understand you.
A married man may use you if he tries to make you feel like he is the only one who truly understands you.
Think about the fact that this man already has someone else in his life. He also probably has a strong circle of friends and his support network. He spends a lot of time and attention on other people.
This is how it works: If you become emotionally close with one person, they may act like they are very concerned about you and what you think and feel. It’s important to look for signs of emotional manipulation like passive aggression, guilt-tainting and shame-tainting, as well as overwhelming someone with a sense of closeness.
he may even start telling you that he wants to be in a relationship with you, but in reality, he wants to use you for something else. He might want to have sex on the side, get more attention from women outside of his marriage, or play games with someone else.
You don’t own him. Instead, you’ll go down a road of pain and heartbreak if you think about it that way. A lot of people mistake this false sense of intimacy for something that can be freely shared between two people who can fully relate to each other.
It’s sign #21: He starts giving you things that you may not necessarily need or want.
You might start getting gifts from a married man who isn’t really interested in you, like jewelry or clothes.
He may do this because he wants to make himself look like an important person and to spoil you in a way that you might not be used to. If he likes the feeling of being attractive to women and coming home each day to his wife and family, he might enjoy it.
Take care. There is a chance that he is just playing with you for his own fun.
There are a lot of emotional and sexual relationships that can go on for a long time like this.
He may even try to keep you in his life by making you feel like you owe him something by giving him expensive gifts. Nothing comes without a cost.
Sign #22: There are times when he doesn’t call or answer your calls.
A married man who is using you may start to stop calling or answering your calls when you need him most. This could happen when you are down and out, or when you are in a bad situation. He may even stop reading your texts and emails.
A possible reason for this is that he feels like the relationship is over, and now he doesn’t want to be with you. Because he thinks your needs are getting in the way of him doing what he wants to do and wants to cut you off.
His wife has found out about the relationship and is now mad at him. He may also be trying to let you go because he wants to move on with his life.
In order to protect himself from being caught by his wife, he doesn’t talk to you at all.
Sign #23: He starts to become emotionally and/or physically abusive.
If a married man is taking advantage of you, he may start to abuse you both emotionally and physically. He may do this if he feels that you are pushing him away and trying to get out of his life.
He might also do this if he feels like you are starting to not give him what he wants and needs from you, which is your time and attention, and sexual energy.
This can be very dangerous for a woman who is involved with a married man as it can lead her into a situation of domestic abuse or even stalking, especially if the man has access to your home or workplace.
Even though the relationship has ended, the man may still want more from you than what he originally thought that he wanted from the relationship in the first place.
Sign #24: That His Wife Doesn’t Know You
If you see him regularly, as a friend or coworker, and his wife isn’t aware of you, he’s probably hoping this relationship will turn into something more.
If you’re dating him and he tells you that he’s separated from his wife, he should let her know that he’s moving on. If she doesn’t know about you, chances are he doesn’t expect this to last.
Sign #25: You Don’t Go on Real Dates
Netflix and chill is alright sometimes, but if all of your dates happen at your place or a hotel time you aren’t his girlfriend. He enjoys having sex with you, but he doesn’t want this to become anything more.
To keep your relationship healthy, you need to be able to share your life with your partner. This relationship will become more real as you learn more about him, but there is a greater chance that someone will be hurt as well.
He also doesn’t want you to know too much about his life since you could use it against him when the two of you break up.
Sign #27: He Doesn’t Want to Know About You
In general, men don’t want to get too close to the women they’re having an affair with. These kinds of things make people feel and commit, which is what he doesn’t want.
Sign #28: He Only Calls When He Wants Sex
For most men, affairs are a physical relationship. Sex is the whole point, with other forms of intimacy just getting in the way. He already has a partner, so he only calls when he’s ready for sex.
Sign #29: He Never Texts You
Men that are in a relationship, even an extra-marital one, will send fun or flirty messages to their significant other. It shows they’re thinking about you throughout the day.
In this case, you can figure out where his mind has been and when he’s ready to talk to you.
Sign #30: He Rejects You When You’re Not Forthcoming with Sex
if you don’t want to hook up right now when he calls, does he stop? Sex will be off the table if you don’t want to do it with a married man.
Sign #31: You’ve caught him telling the truth.
Does everything he tells you check out: where he works, where he lives, whether he’s separated or still living with his wife?
If they don’t, it’s likely that he’s hiding that information from you so that you can’t hurt him in the long run.
Sign #32: He Never Shows Affection
In public, he might be trying to hide the relationship from his friends and coworkers so that they don’t find out about it. If he’s not affectionate when you’re alone though, that should be a major red flag.
Showing affection would make it seem like you’re more of a couple, something he’s desperately trying to avoid.
Sign #33: He Sets Boundaries That Are Too Tight.
Maybe he says that you can only call between 10 and 11 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays, or that you can’t look at him in public.
Some boundaries are expected in an affair, but if it seems like he’s ashamed to be with you, he’s just using you.
Sign #34: He doesn’t care about how you feel.
Do you pour your heart out to him and get a blank stare in return? He’s not interested in your emotional life, only what you can give to him.
Sometimes, that’s sex, but it could also be emotional support. It’s a one-way street, but it could be good for both people.
Sign #35: During the Night, he’s selfish.
Does he head home as soon as he’s finished? If he’s not concerned about your pleasure, it might be time to think about where this relationship is going.
Sign #36: He’s Talking to Other Women
By definition, he’s not being exclusive with you when you’re the other woman. There’s a good chance he’s seeing other people besides you and his wife at the same time.
Sign #37: People say that he has an eye that goes around.
Do you notice him checking out other women when you’re in public? Since this is a more casual relationship, he doesn’t feel the need to conceal his desires. He’s looking for the next best thing before cutting ties with you.
Sign #38: He Buys You Gifts Whenever You Want to Take the Relationship Public
If a shiny new bracelet arrives every time you mention him leaving his wife or telling people you’re a couple, he’s trying to buy your silence.
He’s letting you know that the relationship is transactional, he’ll provide for you if you stay silent and give him what he wants.
Sign #39: He Vanishes for Long Periods of Time
Strike up a conversation about where your relationship is going and he might not speak to you for weeks. Maybe he’s having reservations about the affair or he could be looking for a new side chick that’s less clingy.
In any case, he’s perfectly comfortable walking in and out of the relationship as he pleases.
Sometimes, women wonder how you can make a married man so sad that he comes back. The short answer is: stay away. This is what he’s doing to you, and it’s your availability that makes him think he can ghost you at will.
Sign #40: He wants to be in an exclusive relationship with you
If a married man wants you all for himself, but doesn’t want to leave his wife, that’s one of the signs that he’s not being honest with you. In order for him to cheat on you, he can.
Sign #41: He does not allow you to call him during certain times
People who are married should not call a man when he is with his wife, because some times are just for family.
Sign #42: You can’t see him at any time
If you are not able to have access to your man at any time that you feel like it, it is a sign that he is using you. Because when he wants sex from you, he always finds you.
Sign #43: He uses you as a dumping site
A married will be telling you about his kids as if you are their stepmom but he never gives you the opportunity to formally meet them and build a relationship with them. He dumps his stress on you, but he will not upgrade you to wife status.
Sign #44: When his wife calls, you can’t talk on the phone.
Another sign that a married man is using you is that his wife can never know that you exist. Because he is with you, he can pick up his wife’s call, but he can’t pick up your calls when he is with his wife.
Sign #45: In public, you can’t be together.
As long as you can’t go out in public with him or go to all of your events with him, that means he’s using you. You can’t even post pictures of your baecation like normal couples do.
Sign #46: For him, an abortion is what he wants
If you happen to fall pregnant, he might suggest that you do an abortion.
Sign #47: He doesn’t try at all.
Is he using me for sex or money?
There is one way to tell that he is there: how he acts, or doesn’t.
If he doesn’t put any effort into his appearance, impressing you, romancing you, or making plans to see you, take this as a relationship red flag.
Sign #48: He won’t talk about how he’s going to do something.
Have you ever tried to talk to your guy about the future?
If he gives vague answers about your future together or doesn’t seem to want to talk about it at all, it could be a sign that he doesn’t want to stay with you for very long.
Sign #49: He doesn’t want to talk to you.
Research published by Harvard University found that being curious about your partner is what keeps the fire alive in a relationship.
If your boyfriend doesn’t engage you in conversation or seem curious about you and your life, it could be a sign that he just wants sex from you.
Sign #50: He only calls you for one thing
Is he using me for sex? A big sign that he’s not being honest with you is if he only comes over for sex.
It doesn’t matter how much you love your boyfriend, if he only calls you late at night, chances are he doesn’t like you back.
Sign #51: You don’t know his friends or family
Close couples want to get to know each other, and that includes meeting close friends and family.
The reason you haven’t met his friends after a long time together could be shady. Perhaps you are the “other woman,” or his friends have no idea that you exist.
Sign #52: He doesn’t check-in when you’re apart
How can I be sure my boyfriend used me?
One of the ways he’s using you can be seen in how he texts you.
Someone who cares about you is going to engage you in conversation. He’s going to send you cute messages and try to make you laugh.
If you’re finding “he always talks sexually to me” when he texts you or he never goes out of his way to keep in touch throughout the day, your man is probably using you.
#53: He’s selfish
Is he using me? Signs he’s using you often include selfish behavior.
He doesn’t care about your feelings
He just wants sex
He’s a selfish lover who doesn’t care about your pleasure
If you suspect your crush or boyfriend is a narcissist, do yourself a favor and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
Sign #54: There is no courtship
When a guy is into you, he wants to take you out on the town and show you off. He wants to show you a romantic side of him and have a good time with you.
On the other hand, a guy who is using you isn’t going to bother spending money on you. There won’t be any dates, romantic surprises, or sweet nothings whispered in your ear.
Sign #55: He doesn’t have empathy for you
How to know if a guy is using you or likes you all comes down to how he treats you. One of the big signs he’s using you is if he doesn’t have empathy.
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes.
If he doesn’t respect or understand your feelings, he’s a jerk who you are better off without.
Sign #56: You are his bank account
Is my boyfriend using me financially? This one is pretty easy to figure out.
If you’re wondering, “Is he using me for money?
Look at how he’s been behaving in the past.
He always hints that he needs money for bills
He doesn’t have a job.
He lets you pay for his dinner
He asks for money and never pays you back
These are all obvious signs that all he wants from you is your cash.
Sign #57: You don’t know each other
Is he having sex with me?
To get the answer, take a look at how well you know each other.
Do you share personal stories and feelings, or is your time usually spent watching television or exploring the physical side of your relationship?
If you don’t know anything personal about your man, it is a sign that your relationship is not as deep as you thought it was.
Sign #58: You think you’re his “side piece.”
Infidelity hurts. One research text shows that of 73 adults studied, 45.2 percent reported infidelity-related PTSD symptoms after being cheated on.
Signs that you are the other woman include:
He never sleeps over
He takes phone calls in another room
He’s always texting another woman
In the past, you’ve never been to his house.
He keeps you off his socials
He doesn’t take pictures with you
You don’t go out in public together
He has a lot of phones.
There is a good chance that he has another girlfriend. If you think this is true, it means that you are being taken advantage of.
Sign #59: He doesn’t talk to anyone.
Is he using me for money or sex? When a man can’t talk to you or doesn’t want to talk with you, it’s a good sign that he’s taking advantage of you.
Communication is how you deepen your bond, especially in a new relationship. Your boyfriend may not be as interested in the relationship as you are if he doesn’t want to talk to you or help you solve problems.
Sign #60: You don’t go on real dates.
Is my boyfriend taking advantage of me? This is another thing that could make you wonder.
if the two of you don’t seem to leave the bedroom
If your boyfriend’s idea of a perfect date night is Netflix and Chill, then he’s made it clear that he isn’t going to put any effort into your ‘relationship’ than is necessary.
Sign #61: He always wants you to do something for him.
Is my boyfriend using me financially?
Is he using me for sex?
Is he using me to pass the time?
The biggest sign he’s using you is if he’s always asking for something. Make sure you don’t do anything that could get him in trouble, no matter what he does when you see him.
Sign #62: You can feel it in your gut
Using you is one of the best ways for him to get what he wants from you.
Your gut feeling is your body’s way of telling you to be careful. It’s your instinct, which is designed to keep you safe both emotionally and physically.
If you can’t shake the feeling that something is off in your relationship, it may be time to investigate what’s really going on.
Sign #63: He doesn’t seem to care about your feelings
Loved me or used me?
Blatant signs he’s using you can be seen by the way he treats you. If he only wants sex and doesn’t ask you how you’re doing, that’s a bad thing to look for.
Someone who is invested in you is going to be considerate of your feelings and will care what’s going on in your life.
Sign #64: He has a bad reputation for having sex with other people, so this is what people say.
A good thing about giving someone a chance is that it’s good to give them a second chance. You can’t trust gossip because it often comes from bad information.
However, if your man has a public reputation for using women for sex, money, or just to pass the time, it may be a rumor worth your attention.
Sign #65: Ghosts you.
Did your relationship take a turn that you never saw coming? One of the big signs he’s using you is if he cuts off all contact with you without an explanation.
Much like a ghost, a man who is not interested in you will stop answering your calls and texts, remove you from social media, and avoid you in person without telling you why.
Sign #66: He never goes out of his way for you
Is he having sex with me? One way to see if a guy really loves you is to look at what he’s willing to do for you.
We’re not saying a man should bend over backward for you every minute of the day, but if he cares about you, he’ll want to be there for you when you need him.
Sign #67: He accuses you of seducing him.
There are a lot of married men who cheat on their wives or husbands. Well, it’s actually pretty simple: they convince their wives that it wasn’t their fault.
This is exactly the way your lover behaves. Even though you’re a single woman and he’s the cheater, he acts like you’re the one who got him interested in you.
Isn’t that easy? It looks like you made him come with you, which isn’t true.
Basically, he hits two birds with this stone.
First, he doesn’t take any responsibility and has a clear conscience to keep behaving in the same way.
Secondly, he puts all the blame on you.
If you believe him, you end up destroying your mental health because you can’t help but feel guilty for breaking some innocent woman’s heart.
Well, hear me out on this one. Even though you share some of the blame for this mess, he’s the one who has the wedding ring and has broken his promise.
There are signs that a married man is taking advantage of you.
signs a married man is using you