How To Be Less Clingy In A Long Distance Relationship
Learning how to be less clingy in a long distance relationship can be something hard if you really love someone and feel the need to be with them all the time.
Clinginess is a type of attachment. You become accustomed to having this person in your life while you are in a relationship. They become a part of your decision-making process, celebrations, and support during difficult times after some time.
While some attachment is acceptable and expected in a relationship, excessive clinginess can be harmful and detrimental.
Clinginess is exemplified by excessive communication in a long-distance relationship. You may find it difficult to maintain a connection while separated from your romantic partner.
Sometimes you are wondering, am i too clingy in my long distance relationship?
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Contents
How To Be Less Clingy In A Long Distance Relationship
So, how to be less clingy in a long distance relationship?
To become less clingy in a long distance relationship you have to discuss exciting things you’ve been doing and learning (not to make him envious, but to show him you don’t need his daily validation). Also, instead of asking about the status of the relationship, show interest in what she’s doing.
Let’s me show you some even cool ways to be less clingy in a long distance relationship!
I’ve discovered that the lower your expectations for long-distance relationships, the better.
In case you missed it In my previous post I shared 23 Cute Things To Do For Your Boyfriend Long Distance
People will tell you that communication is crucial, that he is unreasonable, or that you are overly emotional. Look, there is always one partner that puts in less effort than the other in long-term partnerships. That’s why people believe long-distance relationships don’t work.
Because one is overly reliant, while the other is more self-sufficient. If you’re the needy one in the relationship, the best thing you can do is distance yourself, stay busy, and avoid having expectations, regardless of whether you think he could put in more effort because you’re both far apart.
You can’t expect him to put in more effort in other places because it’s just tougher.
Are you in a Phoneship ?
A phoneship isn’t the same as a relationship since you have to be infinitely patient and enjoy your time together. You’re now in a phoneship, not a true relationship, so be patient and get back together as soon as possible.
But don’t hold your breath for him to live up to your expectations; he won’t, and it’s not because he doesn’t love you; it’s simply because the stupid distance makes people act that way. Why do you think people say long distance relationships don’t work?
Because people feel like the other isn’t putting in enough effort, and the person who isn’t putting in enough effort doesn’t see anything wrong with that, which makes the other needy person even more enraged, which makes the independent person stressed and distant, which makes the needy person even more needy, insecure, and resentful, and they break up.
Simply refuse any expectations, detach yourself, and live your life as if you were single; however, do not cling on someone who is far away to make you happy, since he will not. This requires maturity and the willingness to let go of all your expectations, as well as the romantic movies you’ve seen.
You may like: 13 Inspiring Movies About Long Distance Relationship
How to be less clingy in a relationship: Don’t hide your feelings
Never keep your feelings hidden from your partner. Trust each other and be “bare.” But keep in mind how much of a strain your sensitivity put on him. He agreed to be your BF, which entails accepting your insecurities and being able to provide you with comfort.
Work out a communication approach that allows him to console you in the most appropriate way. Don’t irritate him with your erratic neurotic emotions. I know you want to learn how to tell your long distance boyfriend you need more attention but you need to pay attention to him when he attempts to assist you, and be appreciative when he succeeds. You must make an attempt to be honest while also being accommodating when he tries to calm you down.
Still Clingy? How to be less clingy in a long distance relationship in 6 steps
Long distance relationships can be especially difficult if you already have clingy tendencies, as distance can create anxiety-induced neediness.
1. Make an agreement with yourself.
You’ve already taken a positive step by recognizing that what you’re doing isn’t good for your relationship. This is an internal issue that can only be resolved by you and/or with the assistance of a self-help book or a professional. Make a commitment to becoming aware of when you start repeating negative thoughts in your head and telling yourself to stop. Tell yourself that you’ll be alright no matter what happens.
Working on what’s causing you to be needy and clinging in the first place is the best remedy for neediness and clingy behavior.
2. Examine your expectations once more.
In many circumstances, neediness and pushy behavior are signs that you’re terrified of not getting what you want – and it’s that fear that drives your behavior. You may be expecting him to reject you, disappoint you, or hurt you since this has happened before and you are reacting based on your prior experiences.
Make a list of your expectations for
- what love is,
- what is reasonable for the stage your relationship is at right now, and
- whether it is worth your time, effort, and affection, among other things.
3. Discuss it with him.
I don’t simply mean tell him how you feel; I mean tell him you’re conscious of how your recent behavior isn’t helping the relationship and that you want to learn to appreciate what you have. Then come up with a compromise that will suit both of you. Don’t just “emotionally shut down” or stop speaking in the hopes that he’ll figure out what’s going on and act on his own. Because most individuals aren’t very adept at reading minds, he might assume the worst and withdraw or break up with you.
Relationships necessitate two people. If you and your spouse can’t openly discuss how you truly feel, or if he won’t support your efforts to be a better person, lover, and partner, there’s a lot more to be concerned about than driving him away.
4. Establish a ritual.
Rituals or regular patterns of interaction give you something to look forward to and help to lessen anxiety during stressful or transitional situations. You could, for example, schedule a time once or twice a week when you both stop what you’re doing and spend quality time talking about anything and everything.
Do things that make you actually happy in addition to things that distract you from thinking about him and missing him. Do something that makes you feel as if you have wonderful traits to share with the rest of the world. Volunteer, get involved in a cause, and so on. When you’re more concerned with addressing other people’s wants or making them happy, your own neediness and unhappiness become secondary.
6. Take each day as it comes.
Instead of continually attempting to give more to gain more, train yourself to relax and learn how to receive love. This mean
s letting him run the show on occasion rather than attempting to prescribe how everything should be done or spoken.
Conclusion
Try working on being less clingy in your long distance relationship by reducing excessive communication. Why?
The problem with excessive communication is that you will eventually run out of things to say. Spending too much time on the phone with your partner detracts from your ability to do the activities you enjoy. You’ll eventually run out of things to say, and your talks will become monotonous.
When you and your partner are in a monotonous relationship, you will eventually lose interest in it.
Assume you don’t have any exciting activities in your life. You won’t have anything intriguing to talk about with your long-distance lover in that circumstance.
Try to strike a balance between maintaining your relationship with your partner and moving on with your life.
There you have it, how to be less clingy in a long distance relationship!