Why Guys Cheat In Long Distance Relationship
The big question ladies, Why Guys Cheat In Long Distance Relationship? I mean, you do all the right thing, yet he ends up cheating on you😔. Is there a problem with you? Are you difficult to be with? is it your character? Your appearance? What made him cheat on you?
What causes folks to cheat? Hmm…They are quite enigmatic creatures!
To be fair, a significant number of women cheat as well, so let’s not single out guys as the only ones who do it. Despite this, males appear to be cheaters at a higher rate than women. According to the General Social Survey, 20 percent of males have cheated on their partners, compared to only 13 percent of women who have done so.
Furthermore, age is a factor: the older men get, the more likely it is that they will cheat. In the United States, 14 percent of 30-year-old men cheat, while 24 percent of 80-year-old men cheat (can you believe it?).
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Why Guys Cheat In Long Distance Relationship
Who knows what motivates them to cheat at any age, but they do. Let’s take a closer look at the subject of why guys cheat.
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What Causes Men to Cheat? 14 (Depressing) Excuses
Every man who cheats on his girlfriend or wife may have a different reason for doing so…or he may be completely oblivious to the reason for his misbehavior. However, there are certain frequent reasons (not excuses, per se) that could explain why he cheated on his spouse.
1. They want to get out of the relationship as soon as possible.
Some males aren’t very skilled at dealing with conflict. They may be dissatisfied with their relationship, but they are unsure of how to simply man up and talk about their feelings with their partner. Instead, they go their separate ways.
They are undermining their relationships by pursuing and sleeping with another lady, and they are actively attempting to get discovered. Once they are apprehended, the connection comes to an abrupt halt.
Previously we shared: How To Fix A Long Distance Relationship Breakup
You may also like: How To Rebuild Trust In A Long Distance Relationship
I understand that cheating is an unusual way to end a relationship, but I’m not arguing that men who betray are always thinking with their hearts!
2. They are not aware of what they already own.
When males view other women, they believe that they are what they want. This is referred to as the “grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” mentality. They’re not paying attention to what’s there in front of them: you. Perhaps they believe you don’t value their contributions, and so they seek out a lady who does.
Occasionally, the act of cheating brings them to the realization that they have it fairly good at home. In that instance, they could be willing to acknowledge their transgression… Or they could simply devote more time and effort to nurturing their relationship with you.
3.They believe it makes them a better man.
I’m not sure where this erroneous notion came from, but it does. “Woo doggy!” isn’t something that guys say all the time. I’m starting to feel like a real man. “I’ve been cheating on my lady for years,” says the speaker, who is greeted with fist bumps all around. As a result, we don’t encourage other men to cheat, and I’m not sure why some men believe that cheating makes them more manly.
He should cut wood instead of being disloyal to you if he wants to feel like a man.
It’s possible that their behavior is influenced by their DNA. According to a study conducted by the University of Queensland, those who possessed specific types of oxytocin and vasopressin receptor genes were more prone to engage in cheating. Vasopressin is a hormone that is associated with social behaviors such as trust, empathy, and sexual bonding, among others.
4) They do it because they have a low sense of self-worth
Who doesn’t enjoy the sensation of being attractive? When a woman flirts with or expresses interest in a man who has poor self-esteem, he may feel so good about himself that he decides to act on his feelings.
A healthy individual does not look to others for his or her own sense of worth and validation; rather, it comes from inside.
Remember that you will never be able to make your man feel better about himself and that he will continue to go for validation from other women if you believe he has low self-esteem and is seeking it from other women.
5. They are dissatisfied with their current situation at home.
This is something I notice in couples who have been married or together for a long period of time. The fact is, things can get boring in a relationship after a while. It takes effort to maintain your feelings for your partner in the same way that you did when you first met them. And for other men, ennui serves as an excuse to seek excitement in unexpected places.
It is not your responsibility to amuse your companion. Without a doubt, you should make an effort to keep the relationship joyful and healthy in the long run. If you want to express your appreciation to him, give him a compliment or give him a physical contact. Schedule date nights, even if you’re both overworked and fatigued from your daily activities.
Keep in mind, too, that no amount of effort you put out will keep him content at home if he’s going to seek stimulation from another woman. Get rid of this individual.
6. They believe that they are deserving of it
Some men believe they “deserve” to have their cake and eat it too, in a similar way to how you believe you “deserve” a glass of wine after Pilates…
In other words, you can be in a serious relationship with someone else while also having a side piece with someone else.
Perhaps they are traveling for work and feel the need for companionship to help them cope with the stress…
Alternatively, if you have recently given birth to a child and are not providing him with the sexual attention he believes he deserves, he will seek it elsewhere…
You can see that these justifications are a load of bulls# percent, can’t you? He does not “deserve” to be with several women in any manner. He has earned the right to be single and lonely!
The fact is that you deserve to be happy, and if you’re searching for “why do guys cheat,” I have a feeling you aren’t getting it.
7. They Have a Narcissistic Personality
A narcissist is unconcerned about how you feel about him or herself.
After working with thousands of men and women on dating and love, I’ve noticed a trend: male narcissists outnumber female narcissists by a factor of three to one.
While narcissists might be immensely charming, they are only concerned with themselves and their own well-being. They have a tendency to believe that they are superior to everyone else and that the rules of society do not apply to them. As a result, they are more prone to cheating.
Narcissists do not only lack emotional empathy, which causes them to fail to recognize that they are harming you, but they also do not have complete object relations or object constancy.
Persons who have whole object relations recognize that people have both positive and negative characteristics, and that no one is perfect in their own right. In the event that you believe you are not enough for him since you have defects he doesn’t like, he may seek out another lady who he believes is perfect, at least for a couple of weeks, to satisfy his needs.
When you have object constancy, you are able to keep your good emotions even when you are furious or upset.
Elinor Greenberg, PhD, a narcissistic disorders expert, says the following:
“During a quarrel, object constancy can help you keep your instincts to hurt someone under control. People who lack it are more likely to cause emotional and bodily harm to their significant other.”
Because men are unable of empathizing with their female partners’ sentiments and are dissatisfied because they see you to have defects (after all, you’re human), they may decide to take an extra serving of love from somewhere else. It’s a sad situation, I understand.
8. they are not designed for monogamy.
Monogamy is not in accordance with the natural order of things. Consider the implications of this. Cavemen dispersed their seeds over the world in an attempt to populate the planet. There was no concept of a “partner for life” back in those days.
However, as humans evolved and grew more stable, thanks to reliable food sources and shelter, people began to pair up, finding emotional comfort in the company of a spouse, which continues to this day.
While it’s natural to imagine that everyone wants to find their one magical person, the reality is that not everyone is cut out for monogamy. In reality, one in every five single individuals has previously been in an open relationship.
Having said that, there is a distinction between being in an open relationship and cheating on your partner. Neither spouse is unaware that the other is dating or having sex with other individuals in the former scenario. It’s a mutual agreement. Cheating is not acceptable. If your man believes he is not suited for monogamy, he should not be in a relationship with you!
9. They believe they will be able to get away with it
Would you accept a wallet containing money if you found it in the middle of the desert with no one nearby to ask for permission?
Some males are motivated to cheat by the sheer fact that they know they will get away with it if they do so. If there are no ramifications, then why not do whatever you want?
A man who cheats simply because he can is not a man of integrity. In your search for a life partner, you want a man who does the right thing and who takes your feelings into consideration while making decisions that will affect you both in the long run.
10. They Enjoy the Thrill of the Chase
Cheating is considered illegal. The fruit of the forbidden tree. When you watch a movie like Unfaithful, starring Diane Lane, you perceive going away for a little afternoon pleasure as attractive rather than cruel.
Some men enjoy the thrill of taking chances and the adrenaline rush that comes with it. Endorphins are released in their bodies when they consider the possibility of being apprehended (even if they do not anticipate to be).
What would I say to these gentlemen? Purchase a motorcycle. It is preferable to put your life at danger on the open road than to hurt a wonderful woman.
11. They Have The Opportunity To Carry Out Their Plans
What starts off as a casual drink with a coworker could quickly escalate into a case of infidelity.
After work, it’s possible that Becca from Accounting has been flirting with him during happy hour. Perhaps an old girlfriend phoned to catch up with you. Some men are compelled to cheat just because they have the chance to do so.
There’s a little thing called impulse control that these men are severely lacking in! In the event that you purchase a dozen cupcakes, it is the small voice in your head that prevents you from devouring the entire batch in one sitting (okay, maybe just 2). It’s the voice that says (or is intended to say) things like “hey, all of this attention is flattering, but I have a lovely wife at home.” “It’s time to go.”
12. They are not having sexual relations at home.
This is a difficult question to answer because sex is such a crucial element of maintaining a successful romantic relationship. It’s possible that men who aren’t having sex with their partners will look for it elsewhere. However, if you are not having sexual relations with your partner, there is a more serious problem at hand. Most likely, one or both of you are frustrated because you are unable to articulate what is wrong, and as a result, you are subconsciously expressing your frustration by physically and emotionally separating.
If your sex life is dwindling and you’re concerned that he might cheat on you, have a conversation about what’s truly going on. Make a concerted effort to get your life back on track. After being with someone for a long period of time, there is a greater need to put out effort to maintain your sexual relationship because you no longer jump one another’s bones twice a day as you did at the beginning.
13. They make contact with a former love.
And then there’s the one who got away… You’ve undoubtedly had a relationship with a man in the past that didn’t work out, despite the fact that you wish they had. You might perhaps still feel a strong affection for him on some level.
When those persons from our past come back into our lives, things get more complicated. When it comes to rekindling old affections, it’s all too simple, even if who you are now is dramatically different from who you were when you first started dating back in college.
Sometimes these reunions result in adultery, and they are far worse than a casual affair because there is a history and strong emotion attached to the relationship. The question is if this was a one-time “I wanted closure” incident, or whether he is attempting to forge a long-term relationship with this woman. In any case, you are under no obligation to wait around to find out.
14.They’re in a long-distance relationship
Long-distance relationships are challenging. You barely see one another and rely solely on FaceTime calls to communicate. But what about your physical demands, which aren’t being satisfied in this situation?
In a long-distance relationship, you may have no issue going without sex or physical contact for the months that you’re apart, but many men cheat because they lack the willpower to do so when apart. Furthermore, the likelihood of getting apprehended is negligible.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you should consider bringing up the subject of seeing other people in the conversation. If you believe he may seek the company of ladies regardless of your wishes, isn’t it better to be aware of this and give him permission rather than to allow him to sneak around without your knowledge? In addition, you never know, you might enjoy having the choice to see other men as well.
Pre-Conclusion
So, what is it about males that makes them cheat? There is no good justification for this.
However, the actual point here is that you must take a realistic look at your circumstances and recognize that it will never get better for you, and that you are entitled to so much more.
If your boyfriend has cheated on you, you will never be able to put your trust in him fully again. Every day, you’ll question whether he’s really going for a run…or to meet up with friends…or to sleep when he claims he’s going. Trust is an extremely delicate creature, and once it has been broken, it is quite difficult to repair.
It might be difficult to let go of a cheater, even if he expresses regret and promises you the world to make up for his transgression. It is possible that he would promise to fix problems that have been in your relationship for years if you will only give him another chance.
He may have learned his lesson and will not cheat in the future, which is a distinct possibility. However, with that cloud of uncertainty hanging over your head, it is unlikely that you will ever be as content in this relationship as you were before the incident occurred (or before you knew).
Make a list of your priorities and be honest with yourself about what you require. In order for you to be enough for a partner, you must be respected enough that they will be true to you. Never settle for anything less than greatness.
In a long-distance relationship, there are signs that something is wrong.
It might be difficult to detect if your boyfriend is cheating on you when you are in a long-distance relationship. When you live together, even the smallest deviations in your partner’s behavior might be noticed by both of you. When you’re separated from your romantic partner, you can only hear what they have to say through text messages, phone conversations, or video chats.
Furthermore, if your long-distance partner behaves in a different manner, there could be a variety of reasons for this, and it does not necessarily imply that they are having an affair with you. That is why trust is even more important in a long-distance relationship than it is in a relationship in which you live with your romantic partner.
There are several telltale signals that your long-distance boyfriend may be cheating on you:
- They spend a disproportionately shorter amount of time conversing with you.
- Your partner avoids having deep and meaningful discussions.
- They are uneasy discussing their sentiments with others.
- Your partner is hesitant to put up any effort to resolve concerns or schedule visits with you.
- It’s possible to cheat on a long-distance relationship if you take a break from it.
If you and your long-distance partner have chosen to end your relationship, you should consider whether it will be a temporary break or a permanent break.
If one person no longer wishes to be with the other, but the partner wishes to maintain the possibility of reunification. This can lead to a muddled understanding of what constitutes cheating and what does not.
Discuss your relationship’s boundaries and liberties with your spouse in order to reach an agreement.
In the event that you are no longer content in your partnership, you may want to explore altering your agreement or ending it completely. Preventative precautions include checking in with your partner before doing something to ensure that it is something you feel comfortable doing and seeing what they say. You will always know where you stand and will prevent uncertainty and cheating as a result of doing so.
In a long-distance relationship, how can you forgive someone who has cheated on you?
If your long-distance lover has cheated on you, it is more vital to understand than it is to forgive. If all you do is forgive your partner for cheating, you will have no way of knowing why they did it, and the odds are that they will cheat again are increased significantly.
Consequently, rather than judging and forgiving, try listening and comprehending instead. It will, without a doubt, be a difficult thing to perform, especially considering all of the emotions that will be running through your body at the time. This technique, on the other hand, will provide you with greater understanding on your circumstances, your partner’s point of view, and the current state of your long-distance relationship.
It is only through their awareness of your circumstance that you will be able to make an informed decision that will save you from future anguish and pain.
The Best Way to Rebuild a Long-Distance Relationship Following Cheating
The only way to repair a long-distance relationship after cheating is to first figure out what has to be changed.
If one of you cheated, you each had your own set of justifications for doing so. While in a long-distance relationship, you are more than likely experiencing an unmet urge for physical connection. In the absence of efficient communication based on trust and openness, you may find yourself without an emotional connection, which can be a motivating factor in infidelity.
If the cheating was a one-time occurrence, you can attempt to repair your relationship once you have determined the cause of the behavior. When cheating is caused by a lack of physical closeness, moving in together or spending more time with each other may be a viable option to address the problem.
If, on the other hand, you have lost interest in your long-distance spouse, quitting your relationship may be a more appropriate approach.
No matter what you decide to do, it’s always preferable to make an informed decision based on facts and logic rather than an emotional judgment based on your perceptions of wrongdoing. You may come to regret making that decision once your emotions have subsided.
Counseling on Cheating in a Long-Distance Relationship –
The most effective strategy to prevent cheating in a long-distance relationship is to discuss it with your partner as soon as you begin your long-distance relationship. As soon as you decide to pursue a long-distance relationship as a serious endeavor, you must devise a strategy and set a timetable for making it work.
Additionally, you’ll need to come to an agreement on the liberties and restrictions that both of you will be OK with. Prepare for the possibility that these freedoms and boundaries will shift over time, and agree on the best approach to bring it to your partner’s attention if this occurs.
Visiting each other on a frequent basis is one method to manage your needs for physical intimacy with each other. This workbook will assist you in preparing for your visits and making the most of your time together by providing the following information:
Conclusion
A healthy and successful long-distance relationship is built on the foundations of mutual trust and understanding. If you don’t trust each other or believe that your openness would be met with hostility in a long-distance relationship, your chances of cheating increase.
Long-distance relationships require the maintenance of emotional and physical connection in order for them to succeed. You can preserve emotional connection by communicating openly and honestly with one another.
Physical intimacy can be a little more difficult to maintain over time. If you are in a committed long-distance relationship, you must arrange regular visits and have a plan for when you will move in together to maintain your physical intimacy.
Emotional infidelity is a possibility if there is ineffective communication between the parties. Either you or your long-distance partner is attempting to establish an emotional connection with someone who is not a member of your romantic relationship.
If you don’t have the means to visit each other frequently enough, or if you don’t have a plan to move in together soon, you run the risk of one of you cheating on the other by having physical closeness with another person.
In a long-distance relationship, staying on top of communication is the most effective strategy to avoid cheating on your partner. Put up an effort to see each other on a regular basis, and develop a clear strategy for managing your long-distance relationship before setting a date for when you will move in together.
It is best to talk about it logically in order to uncover the reasons for the adultery if one of you has cheated on the other(s). If you can identify and address the root causes of cheating, it will be less likely to occur in the future. If you don’t address the factors that lead to cheating in the first place, the likelihood that it will happen again increases dramatically.
That’s your answer to why guys cheat in long distance relationship!