Long Distance Relationship Neither Wants To Move (5+ Great Ways To Handle This)
There you are.. Long Distance Relationship Neither Wants To Move! You both desire the same thing for your relationship: one of you moves in with the other so that you may start a real life together as a couple. But what happens in a long-distance relationship when neither party wants to move?
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Long Distance Relationship Neither Wants To Move (What to Do?!)
It’s simple to believe that the other individual will just relocate to you, completing and making your existence happy.
You may also like:How To Turn A Long Distance Relationship Into Marriage (#7 Is A Winner!)
But keep in mind that your SO has a life of their own. They each have their own social networks, families, jobs, and other daily responsibilities.
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When none of you wants to move, what do you do? Let’s go over some topics that you two will need to talk about in this post. Hopefully, choosing who relocates will be a little bit simpler.
Why? – The Million Dollar Question
Yes, that’s evident, but you’ll need to discuss it and determine your respective motivations.
Naturally, the majority of individuals don’t want to voluntarily leave their comfortable lives behind and go to a strange and unfamiliar location. Starting anew is difficult and terrifying.
However, there might be more to it than meets the eye.
If you and your partner take some time to think about it, you might discover the true causes of your resistance to moving.
despite the fact that it is actually totally possible.
For instance, you can contend that some items are not present in the residence of your SO. such as lifestyle, employment opportunity, or culture.
But is it actually the case? Do some investigation to confirm that this is the case. not only a cover for something else.
In the end, you’ll both have to make some concessions (not just the one moving).
Consider the circumstances Logically
Examine your current situations with objectivity.
If you’re going to live together, you should choose a location that will provide you both the best chances of success.
Therefore, even though you and your partner may be quite devoted to your existing way of life, it can be more advantageous financially and professionally to live in one location rather than another.
Consider these queries as you discuss the situation:
Who has the more advantageous job or the best employment prospects?
Which institution offers the best education options if someone wants to return to school?
Will someone’s current qualifications be accepted in their new location if they need a certification to work in a particular field?
Where is it safer to live?
Is one city’s cost of living better than another?
Exist any linguistic obstacles that must be removed? Aspects of culture?
Will the social and professional demands of everyone be satisfied? Will it be simple to meet people and get a job?
How much will it cost to relocate everything in one person? Will they have to consider significant purchases, such as a new car?
Who has a place to reside already, or would you both have to start from scratch?
The answers to some of these questions could be challenging, but they’re important in figuring out where you and your partner will reside.
Keep Your Emotional Needs in Mind
Sometimes making a choice involves more than just analyzing the figures.
Living somewhere else might be more emotionally healthy even though moving and living there might make more financial sense.
A location that supports your emotional needs and mental health cannot be replaced by chasing cash or frantically cutting expenditures.
For instance, moving to a major city for a long distance relationship can be emotionally difficult if you’ve always lived in a smaller town or rural area and have grown up there.
Talk to your partner about any worries you may have regarding prospective relocation.
Determine Your Social and Family Responsibilities
You could occasionally have obligations to other people in your life.
You can be in a position where you need to relocate yet have dependents at home.
It’s possible that your kids must remain in a particular school or close to their other parent.
Perhaps you have to take care of your own elderly parents because no one else can.
Your social obligations could also extend beyond your immediate family; you might be supporting those who depend on you since no one else is available to do so.
You’ll need to choose where a compromise can be made—or whatever aspect of your life eventually takes precedence—if this relates to you or your SO.
Should You Both Look For A New House?
What if both of you relocate to a new area if neither of your properties is suitable for the other?
It might be an option if you and your partner can agree on a third location that checks most of your boxes.
However, this choice might result in some extra stress.
Both of you will be in charge of packing up your lives and relocating to a new location that may be foreign to you both. Both of you will need to create new social networks and a new life.
The good thing? Since you’ll be doing it together, you’ll both be able to genuinely rebuild your lives.
There’s a good probability your relationship can endure in a new place as you’ve both managed to survive a long distance one.
A different option is to wait.
Waiting is acceptable if there isn’t currently a workable answer.
For instance, it makes sense for the person who is still in school to complete their education first if they are unable to move at the moment.
Alternately, you both might still feel linked to your current residence, making the decision to move seem hurried or difficult.
That might alter in the future, particularly if your love and connection grow stronger. One day you might decide to shift your entire life to be with the person you truly love.
The most important thing to remember is that, sooner or later, your long-distance relationship must come to an end.
If Everything Else Fails
You may need to confront the hard reality of the situation and come to terms with the possibility that you will never be together if nothing changes after numerous discussions, offers of compromise, and waiting months to years.
Needs That Are Negotiable and Not Negotiable
It appears like you have a good sense of what you need in life and/or in relationships. That’s fantastic. However, I want you to take it a step further and categorize your demands into those that are negotiable and those that are not.
Pro tip: It will be more difficult for you to compromise when it is essential the more non-negotiable wants you have.
Unless there are extremely exceptional circumstances, try to keep your non-negotiables to 3 and possibly no more than 5. For instance, domestic abuse is an extenuating circumstance since it is uncommon and serious enough that you might not first see it as being as important as someone’s faith, education, or something similar.
Theoretically, your non-negotiables should be wants that are so essential to your pleasure as an individual that they outweigh your partner’s influence. I’m aware that doesn’t seem that romantic, but bear with me.
In a Long Distance Relationship, Love vs. Needs (LDR)
It’s true that long distance relationships can be challenging. In a way, their complexity can be a good thing because the additional strain it puts on the relationship can help flush out issues more quickly and force couples to face issues that might be simpler to resolve if they saw each other every day and those issues were routinely covered with, oh, maybe make-up sex.
Anyway, the question of whether to prioritize necessities or love frequently arises in long distance relationships (and undoubtedly in short distance relationships as well). Which is more important, your affection for the other person or your own needs? Which is more admirable: changing for the sake of love or protecting oneself? The responses to both of these questions fall somewhere in the middle.
Conclusion
- Together, make future plans.
- Be sure to share both the good and the unpleasant.
- Don’t let the wind of jealousy sweep you away. (This one is difficult)
- Avoid listening to criticism from others; you and your partner are the only ones who truly understand the state of your relationship.
- Set aside time to meet in person.
- Frequently communicate using technology.
- Recognize that compared to a ‘regular’ relationship, a long distance one demands more time and work.
- Whenever there is a significant date or event and you can’t attend, send small symbols of your affection.
- Make a quick journey to surprise your spouse (my favorite was my boyfriend knocking on the dorm door on a Saturday morning) but don’t stop with your regular activities;
- you have a life wherever you are. Just remember to keep your partner in mind.
- Talk about what each of you wants from the partnership.
- Wait until you are certain of what each of you truly wants from the other before moving quickly or making important decisions.