How To Turn A Long Distance Relationship Into Marriage

Wondering How To Turn A Long Distance Relationship Into Marriage? You have dream about that day, both of you together forever. 😍😍 But there is a problem and things are still taking a while till that day. What do you do?

You may be considering making the final commitment to your long-distance relationship. Do you think you’re ready?

Are you contemplating how to make your long-distance relationship into a marriage? It’s an exciting moment! But, let’s take a step back for a moment.

The dynamics of a long-distance relationship are considerably different from those of a close relationship.

It takes a great deal of thoughtful consideration, meditation, and communication with your spouse to turn a long distance relationship into a marriage-worthy union.

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How To Turn A Long Distance Relationship Into Marriage

A lot of work went into becoming engaged and then married to my long distance companion. I was under the impression that if I hadn’t kept these items in mind, we would not have been able to sign our marriage certificate and be together today.

Have more than just a strong bond with your partner.
Photograph courtesy of Emma Bauso

Even if you’ve just been speaking with someone online for a few months and one of you is already thinking about getting married, it’s a good clue that you should take it easier on your relationship.

Marriage entails much more than simply falling in love with someone. Whether you like it or not, passion can fade. Keeping the fires going 24 hours a day isn’t a realistic expectation. Marriage, on the other hand, is not a method of “locking someone down”!

If you both decide to get married, you’ll be entering into a partnership that will link the lives of both of you. It will also help you to connect with your loved ones.

You’ll be entering a period of intense dedication to one another. If you decide to have children, it will help to enhance your bond as a family.

Marriage also gives a plethora of marital privileges on your prospective husband, which is a bonus on top of everything else. This can include things like next-of-kin status, custodial rights, the ability to make certain spousal medical decisions, tax filing options, spousal privilege, property inheritance, and other things.

Previously we shared: What Kills Long Distance Relationships
You may also like: How To Fix A Long Distance Relationship Breakup
Check this out: 67 Obvious Signs A Married Man Is Using You

If you or one of your partners is considering the possibility of marriage, you should be on the same page in a number of areas before proceeding. As an illustration:

Are you willing to assist your partner in achieving a healthy balance between your separate desires and aspiration?

Have you had the opportunity to meet in person yet?

If you have, have you met their parents and other members of their family? Have both of your families had the opportunity to meet one another? Does it appear that there will be any possible concerns with cultural differences between your families?

What are your thoughts on starting a family, since we’re on the subject? Are you open to the idea of having children? Is it even a possible to have children in the first place? What do you think about adoption?

Are you planning to combine your financial resources? How much information will you be willing to share with one another?What methods do you use to deal with problems?

Do you take a different approach with them? Are you concerned about your partner’s attitude in any way, such as his or her rage or jealousy issues?

Are you or your partner willing to make changes if you and your spouse aren’t on the same page on any of these issues?

Ascertain that your partner is on board.

A good marriage requires the cooperation of both partners. If you and your long-distance beau haven’t already discussed the possibility of marriage, make plans to do so as soon as possible.

It can be difficult, especially if you’ve never brought up the subject previously. It’s even more difficult if you’re still living apart and aren’t sure how things will turn out in the end.

In addition, you must have a sound strategy for how you want to complete the distance.

This involves determining who is going to move and where you will settle, as well as any concessions that may be necessary along the route. If you don’t have solid answers to these questions, you might be committing a mistake if you’re already thinking about marriage at this point.

Make sure you marry for the correct reasons.

In several nations, obtaining a spousal visa is one of the most straightforward methods of obtaining permanent status.

Although it is possible to receive a visa without marrying, we do not recommend doing so only for the sake of receiving one.

If you and your partner decide to be married, make certain that you do so for the appropriate reasons:

• Spending a great deal of time together has resulted in a strong and soulful bond between you.
• Your relationship is successful on multiple levels, and you both want to establish a long-term partnership with one another. Your affection for one another is deep and
• genuine, and you both want to take it to the next level by developing a lifelong connection.
• You have a number of common objectives that you all share.
• No questions or big worries exist between the two of you at this time.

If you’re thinking that marriage will “fix” the distance between you and your partner by persuading either of you to relocate, we don’t think it’s a sensible strategy either. If neither of you is committed to relocating, you will simply end up as a married couple who is separated from one another.

Marriage fraud carries a number of problems.

Every year, hundreds of bogus marriage applications are filed with immigration authorities. It was estimated by the immigration lawyer we hired for our own application that at least half of all spousal visa petitions in the United States were not based on genuine romantic relationships.

If you’re intending on simply getting your marriage over with in order to file for a spousal visa in order to close the distance between you and your partner, this may raise some red flags. Every detail has been witnessed by immigration authorities, and they are the final arbiters of truth.

Even if your marriage and relationship are real, you will be required to produce substantial documentation of your previous relationships. If you want to prove that you joined your marriage in good faith, you’ll need photos, ticket stubs, chat logs, and other documentation.

Spend some quality time together first.

If you haven’t already, make a point of spending some quality time together in the physical sense.

We can only see a little portion of ourselves when we are online, which is not representative of who we genuinely are in person. Whenever we wish, we may choose how much of ourselves we want to offer or show to the world.

It might be a good idea to spend some quality time with them if you’re planning to commit to them for the rest of your life. If at all possible, think long-term.

Living with someone might reveal things about them that may not have been clear when you were speaking with them online before you moved in with them. The issue could be anything as simple as a conspicuous habit you can’t seem to shake or a political viewpoint they have that you don’t entirely agree with.

After all is said and done, moving in together for the first time after a long distance relationship can be a challenging transition. As newlyweds, the task can seem even more onerous!

Make certain that your life is stable.

While you don’t have to be completely stable with a paid-off car and mortgage as well as a fully funded 401(k) in order to marry someone…

It also doesn’t hurt to have everything in order around the house.

In the event that you are not in a good place in your life, whether it is in your career or in your personal connections, marrying someone will not suddenly make all of your problems go away.

For a while, spending a lot of money on your wedding reception and a costly honeymoon can make you feel good about yourself and possibly bring you closer together as a couple. However, if you don’t have a plan for what will happen after the wedding, it could all be for naught.

Furthermore, keep in mind that shifting nations can be an expensive endeavor, and that visa applications are not inexpensive either. My visa application and traveling expenditures totaled up to $4,000 in my own money, which I personally paid. If you decide to hire an immigration attorney, the cost will be substantially higher.

Pre-marital counseling is something to think about.
Photograph courtesy of Polina Zimmerman

Seeing a pre-marital counseling can improve your chances of having a healthy and enjoyable marriage, regardless of whether you are living apart or together.

An experienced counselor can guide you through the identification of and negotiation of challenging issues of discussion.

They can address topics like as the duties of the spouses, your ideas and values, and how to deal with difficulties.

I spoke with a pre-marital counselor with my future bride before we made the decision to get married. Given the fact that we were still living apart, we connected with a virtual counselor and spoke via Skype.

To chat with one of them will cost you money. However, it is possible that you will be able to obtain a discounted fee through your insurance company or another program.

In the end, we paid for maybe two or three sessions, and we still felt it to be reasonably beneficial. Our sessions helped us identify issues that were truly troubling us and helped us figure out how we could go about addressing those difficulties.

Look into the process of registering your marriage.

The process of registering your approaching marriage might be complicated, and there are many different options to choose.

It should be the most straightforward option if you’re both in the same country, as it should be. Check to see whether your country has any regulations regarding inter-state marriages, as well as if your state has any laws or restrictions on who you can lawfully marry in order to avoid being married twice. If not, go ahead and do it!

If you and your partner live in different countries, things may be a little more complicated. A “fiance” visa is available in a number of nations, and it permits someone to enter the country for a defined amount of time. A marriage between the visa holder and their partner is expected to take place throughout that time period. Following the wedding, that individual will be able to file for a change of status to a resident visa.

The K-1 visa is the equivalent of this in the United States.

Another option is to research your country’s legislation (or contact with an experienced immigration attorney) to see whether you can get married in the country without needing to apply for an additional special fiancé visa. If you and your spouse decide to marry, you can use your marriage certificate to apply for a spousal visa in the nation where you plan to live together. Note that this option may take a little longer to complete than the first.)

Consult the webpage of your country’s immigration department. Investigate whether there are any indications of how long it is currently taking them to process an immigration application. Some countries will have lengthy wait times, so be prepared (months, or years).

Finally, keep in mind that the political atmosphere of a country, as well as its immigration rules, might have an impact on the time it takes to process an application.

When it comes to organizing the wedding, make sure you have each other’s backs.
Photograph courtesy of Jasmine Carter

Take it from me when I say that arranging a wedding from a distance is difficult. (In this post, I walk you through a set of stages for dealing with a long-distance relationship.)

We had the wedding in my hometown, and I could tell it was tough for my wife to be away from her family. It’s difficult to try to get a feel of exactly how you want the wedding to be without really being there to experience it.

She was here to assist with the booking of the venue, but she had to depart shortly after. I stepped in and handled a lot of footwork with vendors, photographers, and bakers to make sure everything went smoothly. I was approximately two months away from the wedding when she eventually came to stay with me.

On top of that, there were a slew of challenges with handling the expectations of our extended family. When it came to dealing with cultural differences, dealing with particular family members, and all of the other fun things that come with wedding planning…but with the added challenge of long distance, this was especially true.

If living apart from your partner wasn’t difficult enough, organizing a long distance wedding will put your resolve to the test.

Don’t jump into it too quickly!

If you and your partner have been away for a long period of time, you may believe that getting married will assist to expedite your relationship and bring you closer together.

While it may make things a little easier in some ways, we believe that you should not rush into making this decision.

It will not only be the two of you who will be married, but it will also be the two of your families who will be linked to one other. If you and your partner come from different cultural backgrounds, you can expect them to come together when you exchange wedding vows.

If you and your partner are still unsure whether marriage is the best decision for you, take your time. Perhaps you should take some time to focus on yourself before committing to becoming a full-time partner for the rest of your life. Alternatively, spending more face-to-face time with your partner may make you feel more at ease about entering into a marriage.

Whatever the case may be, if you and your partner are truly in love with one other, you will both do everything in your power to make it work.

01. You learn to appreciate every moment spent together.

Reese and I would frequently get together for the day in Birmingham, Ala., which was a reasonable driving distance for both of us from our respective residences. Whenever we arrived at the location, we would exclaim, “Wow! We’ll have roughly seven hours to spend together, so plan accordingly. “Thank you very much!” That’s not quite enough time to have a cup of coffee, eat some lunch, and perhaps take a walk around the block!

Now that we’re married and spend every day with one other, I’ve realized that every moment I get to spend with Reese is a precious moment. No matter if it’s on a date night or when brushing our teeth together, the tiny moments are the most memorable. Those pleasant, brief day trips encouraged me to appreciate our time together, especially now that we are living in the same place as before they happened.

02. We improved our communication abilities by making nightly phone conversations.

Every night at 9 p.m., Reese and I would talk on the phone with each other. We had a timetable because we were concerned that if we didn’t, we would never have the opportunity to speak with each other. He detested talking on the phone and continues to do so, so I had to figure out how to get him to open up and tell me how he was getting along in his life. I quickly discovered that this entailed asking the appropriate questions, which I have continued to do throughout our marriage. There are no one-word answers to the questions I ask him, nor are there fast, generic questions that evoke a single response. Instead of asking broad, general queries like “How was your day?” or “How was your week?” I ask questions that necessitate a more in-depth response, such as “Did you meet someone new today?” or “What was the worst part of your day and why?” I also ask open-ended questions. Giving him questions like these offers him a place to start and a hint as to what information I was wanting to gain from him about himself.

The tendency to develop undesirable habits, such as looking at your phones and not talking to each other about your day, is easy to develop. However, now that we are married, Reese and I continue to engage in the “How was your day?” discussion. When you’re chatting on the phone, you have no choice but to communicate, to tell your story, and to express your emotions clearly. Now that we are married, we are able to use these abilities to have meaningful conversations at the end of each day.

03. Our friendship was enhanced first and foremost by our separation.

When you’re dating long distance, there are long stretches where you won’t be able to hold hands, kiss, go on dates, or snuggle. My spouse and I really talked on the phone for a year before we decided to go out on a date. It took some time for us to get to know each other because we were in two separate locations before the physical element of our relationship could blossom. Reese and I were texting about things like who we believed would win the football game that weekend or how much we both enjoyed eating chocolate-peanut-butter ice cream while other couples were out on dates and looking into one other’s eyes.

The fact that we had formed this bond prior to marriage has made the early days of marriage less of a process of getting to know one another’s quirks—and far more enjoyable! I know Reese enjoys watching the Golden State Warriors play, so I set aside some time for us to do just that together. Every now and again, Reese surprises me with a glass of chocolate milk when he gets home from work. He knows how much I enjoy it. We didn’t realize it at the time, but all of those phone conversations and texts about important and silly things helped to build a foundation of friendship that has strengthened our marriage and prepared it for any hardships that may come our way in the future.

04. You learn to choose your words with care.

Not unexpectedly, the majority of our disagreements occurred over the phone or via text messaging throughout our dating years. The realization that a careless text message or an angry outburst over the phone can cause serious harm didn’t take long for us to come to. Physical distance makes it more difficult to reach a calm and loving resolution once the damage has been done.

Before ranting over the phone or sending an angry text message to our partner, we would take ten minutes to collect our thoughts in order to avoid saying something cruel. We would do this even if it meant sitting in quiet for ten minutes to collect our thoughts. This ability is what Verily writer and marriage counselor Peter McFadden refers to as a “time out,” and it is a habit that can be beneficial when a couple is experiencing an emotionally intense disagreement in their marriage. Now that we are married, when we have a disagreement, we both understand that it is important to give each other some time to consider before getting into an argument.

05. We learned to prioritize our time together as a result of budgeting for visits in number 5.

Spending money on a significant other can be prohibitively expensive: dinner dates, birthday presents, and Valentine’s Day, to name a few examples. Your ability to spend money on each other quickly accumulates, and when you date long distance, you should expect your spending to rise even further. I had a desire to pay a visit to Reese at one point, but I was unable to do so because I had no money in my bank account. As a result, in order to see him, I had to factor travel expenses into my monthly budget. The experience taught us a valuable lesson about valuing our relationship.

There hasn’t been much of a shift in my marriage. Keeping up with the expenses and putting our date nights on the backburner is extremely easy to do when we have a full-time job. Sure, we may have low-budget nights in, but things like small gifts, beautiful dinners, and any other charges that may accrue to make time spent together memorable are just as vital as spending money on food, rent, and gas to make the time together meaningful.

Reese and I were well aware before we got married that being in a relationship is difficult work, especially if you don’t see each other very often. We now have the assurance that we can work through any challenges marriage throws at us—and this time we will have the luxury of being closer to one another than we have been in the past.

There you go, how to turn a long distance relationship into marriage!