What Kills Long Distance Relationships
Do you ever wonder What Kills Long Distance Relationships? Are you doing all the right things yet you feel that your LDR is falling apart? đ You are not alone. Let’s see What Kills Long Distance Relationships and what you can do about that.
Every relationship is unique in its own way.
The distinctiveness of a relationship is determined by the traits of the two people who are the center of attention in that particular connection. For example, while some elements could be fatal in a relationship, others may consider them to be insignificant or insignificant.
Because of this, both individuals in a partnership must learn to comprehend their partner and, consequently, their relationships.
When it comes to long-distance relationships, the concept of a long-distance relationship that is successful can be difficult to grasp. Moreover, aside from ensuring the success of your relationship, you will be dealing with a variety of additional issues. The difficulties increase in number, and as a result, you are expected to put up additional work on a consistent basis.
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Contents
What Kills Long Distance Relationships
When it comes to wrongdoings, there are crimes that are specific to long-distance relationships and crimes that are specific to any relationship.
It has been necessary for me to learn about some of these things the hard way: It was a long-distance relationship that started my first ever romance, but fortunately, three and a half years later, here we are.
It was difficult for me to have distance be a component of my first relationship.
It was the equivalent of skipping the tutorial and all of the levels in a computer game in order to face up against the Boss in real life.
The effort, trust, and communication required in a long-distance relationship are ten times greater than those required in an ordinary relationship.
When it comes to relationships, especially long-distance ones, I wish I had someone who could advise me on what to do and what not to do at any given time.
That’s why I’m here: to provide you with the fundamentals of what I’ve learned about the seven deadly blunders that can lead to the end of a long-distance relationship over the years.
1. Making comparisons between your relationship and the relationships of others
Constantly comparing your relationship to other people’s partnerships simply serves to make your spouse feel bad about himself or herself for not being able to provide you with what you desire in a relationship. Be grateful for what you have, and remember that you are not the only one struggling with the distanceâyour partner is, as well. Be patient with yourself.
Previously we shared: When To Let Go Of A Long Distance Relationship
You may also like: How To Turn A Long Distance Relationship Into Marriage
2.Being sexually intimate with another individual
It goes without saying that you should not “Netflix and chill” with another individual. However, what may not be as evident is that you can cheat by having an emotional attachment to another individual. There will be instances when you won’t have much time to spend with your significant other on romantic Skype dates, and this is understandable.
This does not, however, provide an excuse to replace the hole with the attention of another possible love interest. Even if there was no sexual activity involved, your significant other may still perceive that to be a form of cheating.
3.Allowing your relationship to become monotonous
As a result of the vast distance between you and the only means of communication available to you, boredom can quietly sneak into a long-distance relationship. Sure, the first few weeks were wonderfulâyou had so much to talk about as you got to know each otherâbut one of the most typical problems that individuals in long-distance relationships have is running out of things to say to one another. Don’t limit yourself to only texting in your relationship. Make use of your imagination and come up with unique ways to spend time together.
4.Not being able to communicate or listen correctly
When there is a disagreement, some individuals run their mouths and don’t listen, while others remain silent and don’t say anything. Both are detrimental. For starters, if all you’re doing is yapping your lips together, you’re not showing respect for your significant other’s sentiments or listening to what they have to say about things. Instead of simply sitting there and not expressing your thoughts, you will most likely find that nothing is resolved and that your sentiments will be pent up until they explode at some point in the future. Learn how to deal with disagreements even when you’re separated by 1,000 miles.
5.Being all over heels in love with the concept of love
You must accept the fact that there will be ups and downs in your relationship at some point. You and your partner are both human beings with their own personalities and foibles. There will be moments when you make a mistake, and there will be occasions when they make a mistake.
Your significant other may also be through a difficult time at the time, making it difficult for them to be as passionate or attentive to you. It is critical that you are head over heels in love with them and not simply with the concept of them.
6.Not spending enough time with your partnerâor spending too much time with your partner
What’s the point of being in a relationship if you’re not willing to put in the effort to make it work? It is impossible to ignore the responsibilities of a partnership while still expecting the relationship to survive. But on the other hand, no matter how much some of us might want to, we are unable to spend every hour, every minute, and every second with our significant others. Always chat to each other at least once every few days, and schedule your Skype meetings in advance to ensure that you are on the same page.
7.Denying that you’ve made a mistake and refusing to accept responsibility
No one ever said that swallowing your pride would be simple. But consider this: Is it really worth it to defend your own ego at the expense of your relationship? It is insulting to your significant other and invalidating their sentiments when you continuously deny that what you did to them was improper. Acknowledge that you have harmed someone and express your regret. (The word “but” should not be used in your apologies.
8. There is a lack of communication.
Long-distance relationships, as well as other types of relationships, can be destroyed by an inability to communicate with one another. As a result, a lack of communication or a reduction in communication leads to increased misunderstanding and the expansion of problems.
Couples in long-distance relationships are frequently too busy to work through their issues with one another. On the other hand, it has been observed in many couples that, since they are unable to meet in person, they choose not to discuss their concerns. That is how things accumulate, and even the tiniest problems can grow into a mountain of difficulties.
9. Fights that have not been resolved
This problem arises as a result of a breakdown in communication between a couple. When two people do not seek to address their differences through conversation, there will be unresolved fights. Unresolved arguments, which are especially common in long-distance relationships, can make the gap between you and your partner seem even greater than it already is.
As a result of such unresolved disagreements, one of the two partners is frequently attracted to different persons, and the distance between them becomes the basis for their separation.
It is also essential to address any unsolved issues and find a way to remain as close to your partner as possible at all times, regardless of the circumstances.
10. Relationship Comparisons and Contradictions
The most prevalent error that couples make is comparing themselves to others in their relationships. ‘The grass is always greener on the other side,’ as the saying goes, and you must apply this logic to even the most little aspects of your life.
You should never, ever compare your relationship to that of other couples in the vicinity of your home. You never know what the sour aspect of their relationship is; they could be showing off their pinky side in front of their buddies, for all you know.
As previously noted at the outset, every relationship has its own set of requirements that vary depending on the qualities of the two individuals involved. Because of this, examine your interpersonal problems and come up with a solution that is uniquely yours.
11. Cheating for the sake of it
As it turns out, words like “cheating for fun,” “one night stand,” and “friends for benefits” have all become far too popular in today’s world of social media. However, it is not acceptable, especially if you are hoping for a long-term relationship with someone.
As a result, if you are also attempting to remain cool under the strain of your friend, or perhaps to be a part of the group with which you are probably hanging out, remember that you are destroying your relationship.
As a result, cheating is cheating, and it has the potential to destroy any relationship, for that matter.
12. A lack of confidence
When it comes to long-distance relationships, if you are someone who has trust issues, believe it or not, they are not for you. You must have a high level of confidence in your partner, which is even more vital if the two of you live thousands of miles apart.
A lack of trust or a tendency to be nosy all of the time can be a big contributing factor to the end of any relationship. Because, in this situation, your partner may feel smothered in your company, and no relationship can survive being suffocated in its own company.
13. Getting Boring as Time Passes
Every relationship becomes monotonous with time; this is a natural human inclination. As a result, you will need to take those small actions to get things moving. However, in the majority of situations, couples believe that the distance between them is the source of their ennui.
It’s important to understand that if you live closer to your partner, relationship boredom will be considerably more noticeable. As a result, this is unavoidable. However, rather than allowing boredom to take up a permanent residence in your lives, you should make plans for interesting activities that you can enjoy with your partner.
14. You’re far too busy to be in love.
Another major problem with long-distance relationships is that one or both of the members in the pair get overly involved in their own personal lives. You must set aside time for each other since that is the only way you can make each other feel appreciated.
Lingering long-distance relationships are suffocated by a hectic schedule or by appearing to be busy because you do not want to speak with your lover. Furthermore, this is one of the most significant indicators that something is wrong in the relationship.
15. Refusal to Accept
Some people are so obstinate that they refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes. And they are willing to go to any length to accomplish this, even at the expense of their relationship. In such instances, the partnership comes to an end.
You must take responsibility for your actions, and you must be prepared to respond to your partner in any situation.
When people fail to admit their own mistakes, a relationship is almost certain to end in divorce or other forms of dissolution.
16. Using derogatory terminology
This occurs when a person becomes overly enraged and loses control. It is difficult to maintain compassion when strong emotions are present.
When this happens, you lose months or years of respect that you’ve worked hard to earn and maintain.
The Gottman Institute, founded by Dr. John Gottman, identifies disdain as one of the four horsemen of romantic partnerships. Stonewalling, criticism, and defensiveness are the other three types of behavior. Contempt is defined as an attack on one’s own sense of self with the purpose to insult or abuse the target.
Creating a culture of gratitude in your partnership might serve as an effective antidote to contempt. Dr. John Gottman is a renowned psychologist.
Keep in mind all of your partner’s great characteristics. Appreciate them and express your gratitude verbally, stating why and how much you value them. Begin with something like, ‘I truly appreciate it when you…’ or ‘What you said today made me feel appreciated,’ and build from there. Make use of words that are nourishing and soothing rather than ones that are hurtful and decrease one’s feeling of oneself.
17.Lying
This occurs when we wish to make a different version of the truth public. There is no such thing as a white lie in this world. Anything we say that isn’t true is a lie, and we should never utter it.
In many cases, our dishonesty not only influences the choices people make, but it also limits the choices they are able to make. âSam Harris, Lie No More
It is preferable to overcommunicate rather than to deceive and hold secrets from one another.
When you’re tempted to deceive or withhold information from your partner, consider the ramifications of your actions. Consider whether or not the falsehood is worth the trouble. If you answered yes, ask yourself again: Is it worth it to shatter your partner’s trust in order to tell a lie? Nothing is ever what it appears to be.
Lies are discovered and exposed. You’ll have to make up stories to cover up one deception after another. In the end, it’s not worth it.
18. Failure to make plans for the future
Couples in long-distance relationships rely on creating objectives for themselves. These are solely about two things: when and where to meet up next, and when and where to get together permanently.
When this is not present, they crumble under the weight of the unknown future.
A relationship will fall apart if there are no plans. When there is no chronology, the future becomes hazy and the relationship becomes stagnant.
As soon as you stop looking forward to some upcoming milestone, it will become increasingly difficult to retain the same level of passion for and hope in one another. In the words of Mark Manson:
Make a plan, even if it appears to be a horrible strategy. Have a plan in place, even if the circumstances aren’t conducive to implementing it today.
At the very least, you should have something that you and your partner are working towards.
No matter if it’s planning a one-week vacation or a quick meet-up in the city where he’ll be conducting a job interview, discuss it freely and in detail, if at all possible.
This provides each other with the certainty that you are both looking toward the same destination.
19. Failing to communicate your requirements
This is lethal. It’s a close relative of deception. When you don’t want your partner to know what’s going on, you can use this technique.
The process of falling out of love is not something that happens overnight. It’s never accurate when someone claims that he woke up one morning and realized he wasn’t in love anymore. Getting to that point can take weeks, months, or even years, depending on how long it takes. It all starts with a failure to communicate needs.
If we are to live in harmony with ourselves and with nature, we must be able to speak freely in a creative process in which no one is forced to hold to or otherwise defend his or her own beliefs for an extended period of time. David Bohm, a physicist, said this.
It could be something as simple as reminding him to put his shoes back on the rack in order to keep the place clean. It could be something a little more substantial, such as asking for his time this weekend since you miss him. It could also be something more casual.
Say what needs to be spoken and deal with the ramifications later. The most significant advantage of being honest is gaining the trust of your partner.
Your companion will most likely comprehend what you’re going through. If he doesn’t, it’s time for you to reevaluate your shared beliefs as a pair.
20. Making comparisons between your relationship
With the advent of social media, this has become far too simple. Everywhere we look, we see people pursuing their relationship objectives. Social media posts frequently portray the more positive aspects of life.
Couples are not the same as one another. Every couple has their own set of values, ways of expressing love, socioeconomic level, and way of approaching life.
Comparing your relationship to another takes away the joy from your own. You feel isolated and singled out as a result of this.
The time away (from social media) will assist you in realizing that trying to be someone else is a frustrating experience that you should avoid. Instead, concentrate on being the very best version of yourself while remaining grounded in the present moment. âEsther Perel, a licensed professional counselor
Pay attention to yourself and your companion. Examine your self-assurance and determine what needs to be improved. The most essential thing to remember is to take a vacation from social media or anything else that makes you feel envious or resentful of other people’s relationships.
Is it possible to have a successful long-distance relationship?
Yes, it is possible.
Is it worthwhile to give it a shot? It all depends on who you’re with at the time.
What can we do to make things better? We can do this by identifying what works and what doesn’t.
Being conscious is essential for surviving and thriving as a partnership….
These five destructive practices â using derogatory language, lying, failing to plan for the future, failing to communicate your requirements, and comparing â will be brought to light. They can be found in almost any romantic relationship, and they are more prevalent than not.
Intimacy cannot develop between two people because of the distance between them. In the absence of a romantic relationship, we romanticize each other far too quickly. Some items are disregarded or overlooked and not taken into consideration. Distance alone could be a factor in a couple’s decision to end their relationship.
Having said that, I would never encourage getting into a long-distance relationship just for the sake of trying it out.
Choose to be or remain in one because you are confident in your ability to work on bridging the gap as quickly as possible.
There are several approaches to resolving issues in long distance relationships.
Hope never dies, and if you want to breathe new life into your long-distance relationship, there is nothing that can stand in the way. So let us have a look at some of the most effective methods of resolving problems in partnerships.
Make an effort to converse as much as possible. Even the most difficult democratic crises are resolved at the dinner table; your relationship problem is insignificant in contrast. As a result, make every effort to communicate as much as possible.
However, in the majority of cases, one person is far too introverted to be able to express himself effectively. In such a circumstance, you can use a variety of alternative approaches that are more comfortable for you.
Keep in mind that you shouldn’t go to bed annoyed or furious with your partner. That’s how you’ll most likely resolve your problems on the same day and avoid having to deal with them the next day. As a result, every morning will be a new beginning.
Never compare your relationships or your spouse to those of other people in your immediate vicinity. You should constantly treat your possessions with care and be satisfied with them. Furthermore, you can always make an attempt to change your situation.
Cheating is a blight in a relationship, and it has the potential to destroy everything or everything in its path. Instead, show commitment to your partner, which has its own set of unrivaled benefits.
Continue to put out constant effort to brighten your relationship. Try to come up with unique ways to wow your lover and make plans for exciting trips. Travel to previously unknown areas and have a good time.
Make it a point to begin each year with something really different and extraordinary.
Do not be afraid to put your trust in your relationship, especially if the other person has never given you reason to be skeptical. Your partnership will never be complete if you have trust concerns.
Make time for your significant other. Some people in relationships, fortunately, merely require time and attention from the other person. You should be mindful of this reality and make every effort to be attentive to your partner at all times.
Always accept responsibility for your mistakes and express regret rather than attempting to argue that you are correct. Apologizing at the appropriate time can save you a lot of trouble in the long run.
So, if you’ve got it, make your long-distance relationship a successful one. You never know, it might turn out to be the most valuable possession you could ever acquire in your life.
There you have it, what kills long distance relationships!